Longing
Thanks to the super-powers of any sort, i wasn’t the only one to have a terrible October of 2010. Many has changed and passed and I am glad it seems to be picking up more positively than i would have expected (look up Susan Miller’s upcoming November forecast.Though, not just up yet. I just know that she will state things that will eventually restate my statement above).
Even though it seems easier to blame mercury and venus retrogade at the moment, inexperience leads to mistakes and open emotional expression leads to cat-rat interactions, which eventually leads to a dead-end ‘fuck off’ wrapped in a pile of gentle words. So, what to do?
Well, remember I said November will be a good month? To start off, I am going back to Canada for a month of rest and family and friend group hugs. Since I haven’t seen my mom for almost a year and a half, I think I’ll hug her the most – and certainly alone. Similar to that, basement conversations will be strictly between me and my sister. No one else is allowed. Of course our cutie-pie cat Mia will be purring softly on my lap. After enough hugging, cuddling, and chatting, a visit to Ebru’s place to have our usual pasta and wine night along with excessive bitching therapy will do me good; will do anyone good! Accompaniment of Vapur and Lord is of course always priceless. Furthermore, another visit to downtown grocery shop to see bubbly Deanna will make me smile for days. I usually hate constant smiles, but hers is different: sincere and appetizing. Talking to Charlie at downtown bus terminal will make me believe -once again, that it is good to be crazy, literally. He has a lively social life than I had in years. He will probably tell me that it is getting cold and he is wearing no socks in his boots and ask me if i can buy him a cup of coffee. Then, I will talk with the Jamaican bus driver on our way home and he will give the updates of what has happened since i was gone. Then, I will go home and probably hug my mom again.
I’ve never thought of missing St. Catharines, but I guess when you leave loved ones behind, there is always longing. And longing is necessary to love and to feel loved.
What I am trying to say is that I will be delighted to take tomorrow’s 11.20 A.M flight that will take me to St. Catharines. I am going home!
